Tooth Fairy Tuesday

Okay here’s another tooth fairy letter from my middle daughter’s tooth fairy.  I think this is my favorite one so far.  Two teeth at once!  Happy Tuesday!

Dear S…,

I can’t help but notice that you are stepping up the pace a bit.  A molar here, a molar there, an incisor or two…now two teeth at once?  Did you get kicked in the face by a soccer ball or something?  Wait a minute, you aren’t stealing other kids teeth and trying to pass that off as your own are you?  You know that is a significant violation of the tooth fairy code and you could get on the rotten tooth list.  You don’t want to be on the rotten tooth list.

I know you’re trustworthy.  But just in case, let this serve as a warning.  A kid in Bolivia, named Octavio, worked at a dentist office and every few days he would stick a tooth in his pocket.  Then one day, BAM!  47 teeth under the pillow with a note demanding 1000 Bolivian pesos. Poor Octavio.  Poor stupid Octavio.  First of all, there are usually no more than 32 teeth in anyone’s mouth. So 47 teeth at once set off our alarms.  We took the teeth but the only thing under Octavio’s pillow was this note:

Dear Octavio,

Nice try, sucka!  Now you are on the rotten tooth list.


Antonio the Tooth – 

tooth fairy extraordinare

Well young lady, if that doesn’t scare you straight, I don’t know what will.  And like I said, you are trustworthy.  So really, how’d you lose both teeth at once?  Was it that Connor kid from your class?  Did he punch you in the face?  I swear I could go to his house while he’s sleeping and remove all of his teeth at once and make him eat soup for a year – if you think I should.  But his tooth fairy is kinda mean.  We don’t get along.  I could get in big trouble.  Never mind.  You’re on your own.

So 2 for one, huh?  Nice!   BOGO!  I love me some bogo!  Sounds like booger but it’s better.  Sounds like bongo which is kinda like Bonzo – but I digress…2 for one, huh?  That’s planning for you and it’s better than getting 47 at once!  Stupid Octavio.

Nothing going on around here – except we saw the movie Frozen.  That was great!  I love how the trolls become rocks – or is it the other way around?  Did you see it?  Did you like the rocks?  Do you think when you see a rock that it’s really a troll?  If it was a troll, would you be scared?  I wonder if I ever sat on a troll accidentally.

Well keep on chewing!



About Mike Berk

A father of three, husband of one, worshiper of God - one blessed man.
funny stuff, parenting, Uncategorized

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