A letter from the tooth fairy part one

So I mentioned in my post yesterday that each of my kids has their own individual tooth fairy.  This one belongs to our middle daughter whose personal tooth fairy’s name is Trina.  We have several letters from each of the fairies – I will occasionally post some of my favorites for you to enjoy.  So here’s Trina after middle daughter lost one of her first molars.

Dear S…,

Holy Molar, what a gigantic tooth!  I hope I don’t hurt my back lifting it!  Did you know that tooth fairies don’t just do human teeth?  Yep, animals too.  Usually you start with animals and then get promoted to humans.  I was in charge of sharks in the Pacific Ocean from San Clemente to San Diego.  I don’t want to freak you out, but that’s a lot of sharks.  And you know what?  Sharks have rows and rows and rows of teeth.  I mean just look at that picture!  That dude really could use a good orthodontist! 

Okay, so how did I get on this subject?  Oh yeah, so I have to do sharks.  Now sharks don’t get change under their pillow like humans.  I mean sharks don’t have pockets or fingers for that matter.  What are they going to do with change?

So we have to give them whale meat.  Well actually as fairies, we don’t kill whales.  Don’t tell the sharks but we actually manufacture the whale meat out of tofu.  Sharks don’t even know the difference, they are kinda dumb.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that shark teeth are big and one time, I hurt my back just as I was slipping the imitation whale meat underneath the sharks seaweed pillow.  That’s when I got transferred to humans.

So now what are you going to do without a molar?  I guess you are chewing on just one side, right?  Or is it all soup for you?  I love soup.  Just don’t give me shark fin soup (unless it’s imitation tofu shark fin soup!)

Thanks for the nice note and all of the questions.  Here I go with some answers.  Teeth $ amounts are determined at the discretion of the fairy.  We actually go through classes and learn complicated equations to determine a right amount.  For example if a kid in Chino Hills gets 86 cents for a tooth, what would a kid in Cambodia get?  What are they going to do with 86 cents?  They are happy with a coupon for a bowl of rice.  Say, you aren’t getting greedy, are you?

Halloween?  Yes, I went as a pixie.  Fairies frown on candy, but there’s one kind that we just love.  Dots.  My favorite fairy soccer team?  I don’t know, but I like the Galaxy and the Wild things.

Congrats on the new tooth.  I took a peek into your mouth – looks like a good new molar coming in.  Enjoy!



About Mike Berk

A father of three, husband of one, worshiper of God - one blessed man.
funny stuff, parenting ,

3 responses to A letter from the tooth fairy part one

  1. Sam Mockford

    HAHAHA! This is SO cute! They get their own little spritely penpal!

    • Mike Berk

      Yep! I think Trina is my favorite, but I’ll post the other ones too. I think we’ll do Tooth Fairy Tuesday for a while.

  2. Pingback: Tooth Fairy Tuesday | Mike and Jen Berk

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